what's then ?

apa lo ngerasain yang gue rasain ?

haha gue ga bisa nangis, tapi hati gue nangis ga berhenti2

apa iya ini yang lo pengen

broke up then what ?

jujur gue gamau

tapi terlalu banyak sakit ken

sampe gue gatau harus ngapain lagi

someone ask to me :

va, d fe msh byk penggemar lo g?

dngr2 lo dipuja2 kaum adam

jgn ge er y?

wkwkwkw

asal kamu tau

aku ga butuh seribu orang fans

aku ga butuh mereka

yang aku butuhin cuma kamu

kamu yang care sama aku

tapi kenapa kamu tidak seperti mereka, yang jelas2 aku ignore?

aku cuma butuh kamu yang perhatian sama aku, sekine kenta :'(

we have our BLOG

yeay !!

[12:24:33 AM] ケンえもん: eh besok jangan berbahaya2 yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
[12:24:45 AM] ケンえもん: kamu nya harus amam...
[12:24:59 AM] ケンえもん: pas pake umum...
[12:25:08 AM] ケンえもん: aman
[12:25:28 AM] aviva amalia: aku pake baju astronout aja biar aman
[12:25:55 AM] aviva amalia: semuanya katutupan jadi gada yang bisa liat
[12:26:10 AM] aviva amalia: ditabrak pun masih tahan
[12:26:17 AM] aviva amalia: |-)
[12:26:23 AM] aviva amalia: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
[12:26:45 AM] aviva amalia: *garing
[12:27:27 AM] ケンえもん: astronout?
[12:27:44 AM] ケンえもん: kamu astronaut y?
[12:27:53 AM] aviva amalia: iya
[12:28:09 AM] ケンえもん: terbang k space?
[12:28:26 AM] aviva amalia: iya
[12:28:33 AM] aviva amalia: mau cari pangeran di bulan
[12:30:07 AM] ケンえもん: nitip salam y untuk pangeran:)
[12:30:39 AM] aviva amalia: ga boleh pangerannya buat aku doang
[12:31:48 AM] aviva amalia: the one for me
[12:32:46 AM] ケンえもん: Im the one for you sayang

[lagilagi speechless]

ngambek

[17-Aug-2010 11:21:17 PM] *** Missed call from ケンえもん. ***
[17-Aug-2010 11:22:48 PM] aviva amalia: apa ?
[17-Aug-2010 11:23:25 PM] ケンえもん: g ada apa2..
[17-Aug-2010 11:23:40 PM] aviva amalia: yauda
[17-Aug-2010 11:24:26 PM] ケンえもん: cuma mau ngomong aja..
[17-Aug-2010 11:24:40 PM] aviva amalia: yaudaaaaa
[17-Aug-2010 11:30:03 PM] ケンえもん: cuman aku  mau ngomong I love u..
[17-Aug-2010 11:35:57 PM] aviva amalia: thank you

[speechless] (Ơ̴̴̴̴̴̴͡.̮Ơ̴̴͡)

and finally you not even reply to my vocation : '(

 I cannot stand being awake, the pain is too much

Do you really love me ?
Should I keep waiting for you ?
sorry, im not sure  (-̩̩̩-͡ ̗̊--̩̩̩͡)

please answer my pray yaa ALLAH :)

show time

i've been doing my best

tinggal menunggu hasilnya

tuhaaaan tolong akuuuu semoga lolos 

aamiin

bismillahirrohmanirrohiim ya ALLAH

semoga ini langkah awal dalam mencapai cita-cita aku :)

aamiin

new beginning

in every ending has a new beginning
so did my life
tomorrow is just the beginning, only a small step of my efforts to achieve my dreams
give you a blessing and a miracle to me so that everything can run smoothly according to what I wanted to achieve my future
in order to pursue my dream
give me confidence so everything goes successfully perfectly
grant me GOD

yaa ALLAH yaa rahmaan yaa rahiim:))

aku mempunyai cinta

namun aku sadar cinta ini tidak bisa aku simpan sendiri

aku akan menitipkan cinta ini, kepada Sang Maha Pemberi Cinta

aku tidak ingin pusing

tidak ingin lagi ada kekhawatiran dan ketidakpercayaan dalam hati

biar Dia yang menjaga cinta ini

agar dia tetap menjaga cinta ini di jalan yang lurus

cinta yang tulus karena dia yang meberi cinta ini di hati kami masing-masing

sekarang aku ikhlas, semua ada jalannya, semua indah pada waktunya

:)

semoga dengan ini aku bisa menjadi gadis yang lebih dewasa

because I believe women are the best of the best only for the best men too

for that I am (was) trying to improve myselves

become a better person to get the best

and I hope he is there, too, thought the same with me

so when we meet and come together again we've become a better person

aamiiin:)

Happy Ramadhan :)

-vivaamalia-

praying

I never felt as clam as this, after he left to go

    no more worries

    no more fears

    no more crying

I am submitting to ALLAH
surrender everything to the gods, including this relationship
thanks god

all i can do is only trying and praying
pray the best for me and him

pray that this relationship will never end
and I believe that god has his own way to realize my prayer
whatever it is, it is definitely the best

hopefully this is our learning to become better, to then be reunited into a better person
and I want to love him because ALLAH 
who give love in our hearts
who will keep this embers of love in our hearts each other

i love ALLAH
and i love kenta because of him

I sometimes miss my old style of dating I used to live,
di-sms, got a call every day even when I went to bed just to say good night to me, if I wanted to go just waiting for the transfer pick-up and I'm just sitting pretty in the car, no longer waiting for some one -who became my boyfriend- call or send an sms because he would have shall first do it, no more fear in a relationship.

but the real reason why i keep silence are, I'm honestly scared of this relationship. too dear so that scares me. too much fear, because he only really has taken my heart, I never felt a feeling so deep like this, even though he was far different from what i missed as i wrote earlier

I fear my heart have provided will be wasted.
I expect him too much, and I fear that hope is false hope.

I was afraid because I was too dear to him 

I fear that this will be futile 

because I had a promise to myself that I'm not going to fall in love, except to my husband, but I'm breaking a promise myself by falling in love with him, which I do not know how serious you are. or it just no sense ?

-vivaamalia- 

feel it

Piglet : “how do you spell love?”

Pooh : “you don’t spell it, you must feel it”

Have you already feel it  honey?

-vivaamalia-

survive

vivakeken :)

Holding on is tough

much together than letting go
but this never be simply quitting here
thought i should let you know
 

i miss you, my sekine kenta

 

-vivaamalia-