I sometimes miss my old style of dating I used to live,
di-sms, got a call every day even when I went to bed just to say good night to me, if I wanted to go just waiting for the transfer pick-up and I'm just sitting pretty in the car, no longer waiting for some one -who became my boyfriend- call or send an sms because he would have shall first do it, no more fear in a relationship.

but the real reason why i keep silence are, I'm honestly scared of this relationship. too dear so that scares me. too much fear, because he only really has taken my heart, I never felt a feeling so deep like this, even though he was far different from what i missed as i wrote earlier

I fear my heart have provided will be wasted.
I expect him too much, and I fear that hope is false hope.

I was afraid because I was too dear to him 

I fear that this will be futile 

because I had a promise to myself that I'm not going to fall in love, except to my husband, but I'm breaking a promise myself by falling in love with him, which I do not know how serious you are. or it just no sense ?

-vivaamalia-